


regret what i (didn't) say

by hermitcrabcoral



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hop, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21765463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermitcrabcoral/pseuds/hermitcrabcoral
Summary: He scoffs, at first, and only continues stirring his curry. "What do you mean, Gloria's no longer champion?" Fondness is barely concealed in his voice, and Hop winces. "Perhaps she went too easy on a random trainer?"Words form and dissipate from Hop's mouth, and Marnie finally has to step in."Listen, Bede…there was a Flying Taxi accident."
Relationships: Beet | Bede & Yuuri | Gloria, Beet | Bede/Yuuri | Gloria
Comments: 21
Kudos: 242





	1. Chapter 1

They break the news as subtly as possible to Bede.

He scoffs, at first, and only continues stirring his curry. "What do you mean, Gloria's no longer champion?" Fondness is barely concealed in his voice, and Hop winces. "Perhaps she went too easy on a random trainer?" 

Words form and dissipate from Hop's mouth, and Marnie finally has to step in.

"Listen, Bede…there was a Flying Taxi accident." 

The curry burns, but Bede only remains frozen, the spoon still clutched between his rigid palm. 

"Bede," someone calls, and Hop's fingers are trying to pry his off the wooden spoon, and suddenly his pokémon are all surrounding him, swarming him,  _ choking him _ _ — _

" _ Bede."  _ Marnie's gently pushing away the concerned pokémon around him, Hop finally steps back, and Bede sits, shell-shocked.

  
  


"Why not we get you to Ballonlea, and let Ms. Opal take care of you?" Hop _ almost  _ calls for a Flying Taxi again, but Marnie tugs on his sleeve when she finishes speaking.

  
  


Bede can only nod, while Hop begins walking him down the road, leaving Marnie with the neglected curry and anguished pokémon.

  
  
  


. . .

  
  
  


Opal swaddles him in a blanket, pours tea, and lets him cry.

Tears and words flow for hours, and for once, Bede can't be bothered to stop them.

  
  


"Why  _ her?  _ She _ — _ she's so  _ good _ and  _ strong _ and _ — _ and she  _ didn't deserve to die—"  _ Bede chokes out, stubbornly wiping away more tears. 

Opal has been through fortunate times, through tragedies, through sorrow. And though she may have passed her role as gym leader to Bede, it's perhaps about time she passed on her wisdom to him as well.

"Child, life is never going to be  _ fair."  _ For a brief moment, her hands shake, thinking about the chairman, but she can ignore him. "The only thing we can do is pay our respects, and move on." Bede shakes a little in indignation, but resigns to staring into his empty teacup.

"After all," Opal continues, her hands gently clasping Bede's, "isn't that what Gloria would have wanted for you?"

His spine goes stiff. "I...I never got to…" 

"Do what, child?"

But Bede only shakes his head, and reaches for a tissue.

  
  


. . . 

  
  
  


Long after the public mourns for their beloved champion and lets the championship fall to Leon again, Bede still suffers.

He is torn _ — _ Leon has made it apparent he's willing to abdicate the title of Champion a little more easily than before, and Bede wants to take it, but _ — _

_ That title never belonged to you anyways,  _ he tells himself,  _ convinces _ himself.  _ Only to her. _

Gloria is an unspoken name in his mind now, to others around him, but she still resides in it, haunting him. What he did to her, what he couldn't do to her.

  
  
  


. . .

  
  
  


_ Being a professor suits Hop, _ Bede thinks as he sits on the grass with the champion's younger brother. 

_ Happy, eager to help, smart… _

"Wooloo head, eat something!" he chuckles, and slides over a pastry shaped like an Alcremie.  _ Gloria would have liked this,  _ Bede thinks. He looks up, straight into Hop's stare. 

He said that aloud, Bede realizes when Hop suddenly gives him an empathetic look. "Are…are you still feeling down? Look, Bede, I know we weren't always on the best terms, so I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but _ — _ "

"You're right, you  _ can't  _ and you  _ won't, ever."  _ Bede snaps, suddenly agitated. Hop raises his hands up in defense, his mouth opening to speak again, but Bede can't hear him. " _ You _ were there for  _ her  _ and only  _ encouraged  _ her and  _ I?"  _ Bede swallows the lump in his throat. "I only mocked her, and the one thing I couldn't do to her before _ — _ before she  _ died,  _ was…" The lump in his throat seems to choke him, and the pastry falls from Bede's hands.

"Bede?"

"I couldn't  _ confess to her _ . I could shame her all I wanted to before I knew her, but I can't tell her _ —I'll never be able to tell her—" _

"Bede, it's not your fault."

"...that I loved her." Bede's breathing is shallow and shaky, but he is relentless under stress. 

"And _ —" _

" _ Bede." _

" _ — _ maybe it's for the better, maybe it's better she never knew, is it worth confessing if they're just gonna die  _ and leave you to cry—" _

_ "Bede!" _

Hop lets out a sigh as Bede sulks, and takes some time to let Bede cool down. 

"Hey. Fairy boy."

Bede snaps his head up. "Only Gloria called me that _ —"  _ he stops once he sees Hop's grin.

"She did? Well," Hop pats Bede reassuringly, "I bet she loved you too." 

"Doesn't matter what you think," Bede grunts into his jacket, but his lips curl up at the corners, and for the first time in awhile, he allows himself to smile. 


	2. Chapter 2

Everyday, Bede ventures through the forest, sets up his camp, and waits for the Yamask to arrive.

His pokémon have gotten used to this event; they frolic around freely instead of curling up by Bede's side. The Yamask casually joins them, and always helps themself to a plate of curry afterwards.

  
  


. . . 

  
  
  


_ Once upon a time, long after Hop sat with Bede and comforted him, Bede hears the anguished cry of a Yamask. _

_ Normally he would ignore the pokémon, or even send his own against it, but upon closer inspection, there's something different about it. _

_ It's gripping its mask with fervor, and peeks down to look at it from time to time, but it never stops its mournful dirge, and the mask shakes in its hand. _

_ Bede squints at mask, and feels a familiar lump squeezing at his throat again.  _

_ He'd recognize that face anywhere. _

  
  


. . .

  
  
  


"Why don't you ever catch that pokémon, child?" Opal points out one day.

Bede shrugs, before giving the Yamask an affectionate pat. "Well," he murmurs, grinning to himself as he offers it a berry.

"That's no way to treat the late champion, is it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but what if gloria, unable to rest in peace, became a ghost
> 
> this was just a quick bonus drabble, haha

**Author's Note:**

> i will fully admit i dont like how out of character bede is here, but i still had fun writing this piece haha.
> 
> comments/kudos are appreciated!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Lost Without You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22826086) by [ZeltheWeavile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeltheWeavile/pseuds/ZeltheWeavile)




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